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Here’s Why Rae And Lexi From ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ Broke Up

Sep 25, 2023

Well, The Ultimatum: Queer Love has finally wrapped on Netflix (warning: major spoilers ahead). If you've been streaming, you already know that this season brought even more drama than could've been anticipated...which I didn't think was possible, but leave it to The Ultimatum to do it!

For a quick recap: five couples entered the show with ultimatums, and (sadly) only one is still together. The reunion episode aired out a lot of grievances—particularly between some couples who, let's be real, needed some time apart. However, there are still a few looming questions about the fate of these pairs.

Are Lexi and Rae really broken up? What exactly went down between Tiff and Mildred? Women's Health has all the deets.

Lexi and Rae ended The Ultimatum in a happy place—the women were happily engaged and gearing up for wedding planning. "This last year has been amazing," Rae said of their relationship during the finale. Unfortunately, this honeymoon phase didn't last. A title card at the end of the episode revealed that the couple broke up shortly after their appearance at the reunion.

"We had a great four and a half years together, but when we’re looking for a life partner, maybe there's things that we’re looking for that are different and things we couldn't get past from the show," Lexi said at a press event for The Ultimatum.

Rae also told TODAY that she doesn't regret proposing to Lexi, even if their engagement fell through. "I'm happy that I went where my heart was at in that moment. I think following your gut is so important," she told TODAY.

Lexi also added that the pair simply couldn't make it past the issues that made them apply for the show in the first place. "We probably spent another month trying to work through some stuff that we just had maybe not gotten through as much as we thought we had (during) the experience. Things that kept coming up for us," Lexi told TODAY.

After that situation with Rae and Vanessa, trust couldn't be restored between the couple, either. However, Rae and Lexi appear to be on good terms.

"I love her. I wish her nothing but the best," Lexi told TODAY.

ICYMI, Lexi had pretty good chemistry with Mal during their trial marriage. However, ultimately both Lexi and Mal ended up going back to their original partners. During the finale, Lexi was also still committed to Rae, but after, she is in a new relationship.

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"I'm in a relationship now. I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and when I look back on everything that I learned and the ways I grew on the show, I think it brought me to somebody that has made my life better in ways I just could have never expected," she said "I just truly fell in love with my best friend."

Lexi didn't confirm who she was dating, so it's unclear if it's Mal, or someone completely separate from her time on the show.

Thing were very...cold between Mal and Yoly at the Ultimatum reunion (with reason!) After issuing the ultimatum, Yoly was a little dishonest with Mal about her feelings for Xander throughout the season, and that was finally addressed at the tell-all.

Mal ended up proposing, but Yoly kissed Xander shortly after accepting. "I do highly regret kissing Xander after saying yes to Mal. I think it was just the heat of the moment and the reality of saying bye to Xander, somebody who I loved, and I did not respect my, like, just previous commitment to Mal. I regret that," Yoly said at an Ultimatum press event.

Both Yoly and Mal were happy about the proposal because they got to see their relationship through to the end, per TODAY, but ultimately it didn't last. The pair is no longer together, and Yoly confirmed she is not exclusively seeing Xander, or anyone else.

"This has been the longest I’ve been single. It's been a year and a half, almost two years. So I’m just dating myself, as silly as that sounds," she said.

And, despite airing her grievances toward Yoly on television, Mal also feels Yoly will always be apart of her family. "I think we still respect each other," Mal told TODAY.

While they seemed like the pair with the least problems during the show, Tiff and Mildred's relationship was not what it seemed at their engagement. They looked like they hadn't been in contact for a while at the reunion.

"It was like the cloud came back," Mildred said during the finale. "There was no clarity."

Their relationship turned toxic very quickly after the proposal, according to both Mildred and Tiff. Based on the reunion episode, they are not on speaking terms.

Vanessa and Xander's relationship issues took a total reversal throughout The Ultimatum. Initially, Xander gave the ultimatum to Vanessa. However, she quickly realized she was falling in love with Yoly—just as Vanessa became ready to commit. They ultimately broke up, making them the only couple who never got engaged.

"I love you as a friend, and I think it took this experience to realize that we shouldn't be together," Vanessa told Xander during the reunion.

Xander decided that her relationship with Vanessa had run its course, even before filming their breakup scene, per TODAY. "If I was really listening to my intuition, which I was not doing a good job of before, I probably wouldn't have even been on the show, honestly," Xander told TODAY.

Based on the reunion episode, it seems both women are single. Xander and Yoly have been in communication, but they are not in a relationship. As for Vanessa, she's going on dates.

"I am dating, trying to find someone who feels special, who feels like potential marriage material," Vanessa said.

Aussie and Sam are still engaged, and they're the only couple from this season who made it through! "We've kind of figured it out," Sam says of the couples' problems before the show—which mostly stemmed from communication. Sam has worked on giving space, and Aussie has worked on taking less time needing space. I love compromise!

Aussie is also working on communication, not just with Sam, but with family, too. "In the past, maybe I would've not told [my family about Sam] but I'm trying to embrace me and be more open, and live my truth," Aussie says during the finale.

The couple plans to get married in Australia, Aussie's home.

Based on the reunion, it doesn't look like Yoly and Xander are officially together, but they're definitely still in contact. The pair met up at Coachella after a few months of not seeing each other. However, they both say they're just friends at the moment.

"The person I was while I was dating Mal, while I fell in love with Xander, was somebody who was over-compromising of self and willing to just give up parts, things I need in the name of love," Yoly said. "I’m not there anymore. I want to have my 'hell yes' [relationship]."

While she says she's currently single, Yoly hasn't totally ruled out the possibility of dating Xander in the future.

"I would say that I don't think Xander and I align as much as we did at the time. I think about it sometimes. We had such a good connection and love was there, but no, not yet," she said.

You can learn all about these couples on The Ultimatum: Queer Love, now streaming on Netflix.

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